Have you ever thought, "why bother"? Experienced the moment at which you realized that, no matter how hard you tried, absolutely nothing would ever change?
It closes in on you slowly, as you glance around your living room, cluttered with outdated junk; a nagging feeling that rises in you. It boils the bile in your stomach, until you feel that you're going to throw up through sheer contempt of yourself.
Looking around, you see your life for what it is. You're a loser living with your parents in a building that should have been knocked down decades ago, constantly hounded by demanding friends, thankless jerks who only care about you because you tape their TV shows for them.
It's sort of a trapped feeling, really, as you come to realize that there's no way you can better your situation. You were the one who dropped out of high school, whose greatest career aspirements involve making manager at the hole-in-the-wall Burger King you work at. You're the loser who can't afford to shove away those stupid "friends" of yours, because they're what you've got. You're the fool who actually believed that that girl had meant it when she'd said she'd loved you, rather than realizing that she'd run off with your grandmother's silverware before the next morning.
It makes you feel worthless to yourself, absolutely without hope for the future. It screws with your mind until you pray for any escape from the dreary, day-to-day pain of your pathetic existence.
It's not something that should happen to anyone. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But . . . it happens. It happens when people start caring more about what they can get from that poor shmuck than how this person they call friend is feeling, when lovers only consider a man's bank balance.
And it's a truly sad thing when it's not even considered wrong.
Author's Note
I wasn't feeling too great this day, and this just kind of wrote itself out . . . I didn't plan or anything. I think it came out fairly well, considering. Not much more to say about it, I don't think.